chemistry.

i went on a 'date' yesterday with the younger guy and i have to say,
it was... different.
i've never been a date where i've had to drive the both of us,
nor have i ever been on a date where a guy touches my hair a lot.
he was very sweet and gentlemanly though;
opened doors,
told me how cute i was time after time,
got to know each other a lot,
but honestly...
the chemistry wasn't there.
i couldn't feel that spark,
and i definitely don't want to lead him on cause he's so nice.
i just need to find a way to let him down gently...

after the date,
went to the dollar theater in La Mirada and had a ball with Rhiannon.
The Town was super good,
and we stayed in my car where she listened to me rant till 2:30 in the morning.
i have so much love for that girl.

up until tonight,
i haven't spoken to Junior for a little bit more than a week.
i know i've said in the past that the chemistry between us wasn't all that strong but it's really grown,
he's my big teddy bear.

after the car accident,
i felt like things were really weird between us,
other than the fact that i didn't want to go see him because i felt like i was repeating history,
something was just off and i realized i was giving him the impression that i didn't enjoy his company.
i really do,
honest.
he's the most modest and sweet loving guy ever,
i know if he saw an old granny struggling to cross the street,
he'd probably run over and help her.
he's older than me which is a plus,
and taller,
and the fact that he can make me feel so damn comfortable is always a plus too.
he makes me smile,
not in a cheesy way but just really getting to know me and remembering little things about me.
he's coming over right now as I type,
we're having a movie date at my place and we're going to catch up on old times.
i sorta can't wait.

last thing i want to mention is the whole band guy thing...
Nick and Rhiannon made a lot of sense,
i really don't have a lot to lose except for the fact that they'll all think i'm weird and off,
but other than that i really don't have that much to lose.
other than that,
i don't really want to go into detail about it.

let's just say,
i just really want to fall in love with the right person.