he found his brain in an apartment in Chinatown

Today is not a good day,
I'm extremely aggitated over everything and I can't seem to get a grasp on anything.
It's as if my reality was another persons dream and they're slowly waking up from there nightmare...

I find myself telling everyone in the world that I'm fine and that I'm good.
But I wish there was one person in this world to see right through the barrier I put up and tell me that it's okay to be less than fine and less than good.
*Sigh*
I'm lost.

At least I have some good music to listen to,
I'm currently in love with Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground.
:]

all the make up in the world couldn't hide...

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised,
every single person in my life has in some way or another let me down,
why should you be any different right?
But something inside of me told me, maybe, just maybe...
You'd be different, and you wouldn't hurt me as much as you did,
but how terribly wrong that something inside of me was...

I don't think anyone could use words to describe this horrible feeling,
this feeling of lost, betrayal, and nothingness...
Now...
Every day, I plaster on this smile and I wonder who I am as I look in the mirror.
I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think this time around, I really lost it.
*sigh*

All I want for Christmas this year is to feel whole again and maybe to find myself a couple of genuine friends I can count on...