Oh the sun, bullies the moon

I've been reminding myself constantly of that very quote,
everyday for a very long time.
Cause even though I feel stuck sometimes,
it always seems to work out.

the uninspired drought is almost over,
and i believe the rain helped a bit.
:]
i wrote thirty-six pages in three days,
i was a bit in awe,
i just can't believe i'm still writing as if this drought never swept by.

spring semester starts today,
i have a class at 2:30 which i'm sort of grateful for,
monday's are always pretty dreadful for me,
sleeping in a little bit more makes a big difference.

i need to go get ready for my first day again,
so i'll update again at a more reasonable time,
and try not to do it every two weeks again.
adios.

&& since you're online,
check out slow club they're a pretty good indie band.
:]

pitter platter.

i've realized that all the answers are really just right in front of me...
seems like i've been running around in circles in search of them,
somehow, each and every single time...
i've over looked them.
this time around,
i just hope that i don't lose them again,
cause it took a hell of a long time to find them.

i'm so glad that the weather report says it's going to rain in these next couple of days.
i just hope it pulls through,
cause i need hope and somehow...
rain is hope to me.
i really don't know how to explain it,
and my poor attempts to explain things nowadays aren't getting any better.
i've just lost my way with words, (i'm not even sure if i really had it back then, but i know it was better than what it is now)
i feel like i'm rambling most of the time,
which i hate.
i have so many insecurities,
i don't want expressing myself to be one of them.

going jogging tomorrow after class,
i'm really looking forward to it for some strange reason.
after that dream i had of jogging for miles on end and afterwards feeling extremely happy,
i just need to see if it feels that way when i'm actually awake.
i'm crossing my fingers.
:]

rollercoaster.

I had the weirdest dream last night,
I arrived in some kind of huge theater getting ready to watch a movie (I couldn't remember which one)
then I realized there were many familiar faces in there.
all of a sudden I feel a nudge and realized it's some old friends I haven't seen in a while,
we were catching up in the middle of the stairs while people rushed to there seats until an usher came to tell us to take a seat.
Somehow we all scattered around and I just ended up taking the nearest seat closest by the stairs,
the lights dimmed and the curtains started to rise...
All of a sudden the section that I was sitting in started moving away from the rest of the other seats and we started moving on what seemed like a track around the giantic theater, it started speeding up and I gripped my handrest like my life depended on it before it actually started to get enjoyable.
Just as I thought that this wasn't all that bad I looked forward and the track broke off midway,
I looked around to see if this was only a trick,
but I soon found out it wasn't when everyone fell out of there seats and down to what seemed like a rectangular pool.
A baby was falling next to me as I desperately went to reach out for her,
I didn't want her to drown, and just as I grasped onto the little blanket she had wrapped around her tightly we fell into the pool,
but it wasn't anything I had thought, we weren't wet,
we didn't collide into the hard concrete either,
instead we defied gravity and floated as if we were in a body of water...
I didn't get to enjoy it,
because then I woke up...
And that was the end of my dream.

Now going back to reality,
I spent some time with Johnny this weekend. :]
Kristen went to Florida to look at some places,
I can't believe they're leaving me for Florida...
Anyways, this weekend was a reality check I guess,
Johnny told me that I needed to let my guards down and really accept people back into my life.
Cause lately I've been isolating myself as he likes to say...
Which I can't say isn't completely false,
but as for the accepting people back into my life?
I'm standing here with my arms wide open,
it's just that they're not making the effort to meet me half way,
that isn't exactly my fault.
*sigh*

On a lighter subject,
I went to a small little gig this Friday.
I saw it as a good time to write my paper on this show,
since it was cheap and I really didn't feel like going to a metal show on Saturday.
Turned out,
we ended up finding some good music.
Two noteable ones were Brightwood and Abandon Kansas,
so when you have time go and check them out.

And,it's funny how I'm such a spaz about germs
but yet, I'm attracted to all the boys who look dirty and who needs to shave.
hmm...