the end of this chapter... finally.

We've been at it for roughly three years now...
We've loved, we've lost, and now we're moving on.
I have to say, I'm quite proud of myself,
I didn't let myself cry when I spoke to you last night,
at least the last memory of me isn't a sad one.
Surprisingly, when I got off of the phone with you I didn't have the urge to drink or smoke myself to death,
I stuck it out and instead cried myself to sleep.
I guess this really is the end,
I wish from the bottom of my heart that you're truly happy,
that you'll live your life with no regrets.

Now, to Craigery.
My dear, dear, dear friend...
Thank you so much for being their for me,
for being my sober buddy, for listening to me rant, for comforting me when I cry.
I miss you already and it hasn't even been more than a few hours since we've seen each other.
You got me through once again,
another hard time.
To be honest,
I've crushed on you for a couple of months already.
Though I know you only see me as a little sister,
I can't help but feel a little bit more for you.
I don't see this going anywhere,
soon you'll go back to middle of nowhere Utah and I'll be content alone again.
I do have to note though,
when you told me you regret losing your virginity to a girl you might not possibly love...
I had so many emotions running through me;
happiness, disappointment, sadness, ect., ect., ect.
Happy because I'm selfish and I'm glad you realized she was the wrong one,
Disappointment because I thought you were better than that,
and
Sadness because I know you're genuinely upset about it and it really means a lot to you.

Craig,
you're one in a million.
Never change.
I know in the future you're going to make one lucky lady one very very very happy girl.