peer pressure.

maybe it's just that time of the month,
or maybe it's that i'm starting to show my true colors again.
i ask myself this a lot,
did i compromise who i really am to turn into the person that i am today.
i use to not care what people say, i use to say what i said because i meant it, i had no fear in the world, and peer pressure? i would've fucked it in the face so hard that it wouldn't exist in my life.

but now...i care what people say, i feel like i have to sugar coat things in order to be please everyone to be nice, and fears? i have more than enough nowadays.
i'm hating the person i've become,
i don't want to live life so restricted.
but yet, how do i have that happy medium where i don't hurt people, constantly?
i really don't know...
i just know that there's a need to change.

well, back to the main point.
i think everyone in there lifetime has gone through some type of peer pressure,
something that you don't want to do,
yet your peers, friends, co-workers, whomever might pressure you into doing.

for me,
this wasn't, isn't a problem.
i don't care if you call me a "pussy",
it doesn't hurt me.
it doesn't make me want to prove myself to you,
simply because i know who i am, i don't care if you believe me or not.
my mom taught me well,
"don't buy into that bullshit, those friends are a dime a dozen. your real friends won't make you feel bad if you don't do something, they won't force you to do something you don't want, and if they do... fuck em'."
okay, she didn't say it in those exact words but along those lines.
thanks to my madre's wisdom, i've stayed away from drugs for this long.
i could've easily said,
"sure, pass my that blunt" or "yeah, i'll take that pill."
but i didn't cause my mom taught me better.
so, call me all the names you want,
cause i don't give a shit.
if you want to talk shit,
say it in my face and we can deal with it.

i don't want to be apart of something i don't want to do,
and if you've ever been in that position
you shouldn't do it either.
something that might be "fun" but in actuality hurts you?
i don't find that fun.

so, if i've ever peer pressured you into doing something you don't want to do.
i apologize.
i try hard everyday not to be the person i don't like,
and when i slip i try ten times harder the next day to make sure i don't become that person again.
all i ask is that
you treat me with the same respect.