maybe you're merely uncomfortable with uncertainty?

four A.M. talks,
spilling my guts out to a person who ultimately doesn't care,
isn't the way i like to spend my nights.
as much as i feel like i wasted it all,
and as much as i like to tell myself to give up on this person.
i refuse.
no matter how hard it gets,
i want to help him through his struggles,
because i know i would be nothing,
if i didn't have that support with me when i was battling through my own shit.

last night,
was jam packed with silly sing-alongs, Chipotle that gave me a horrible stomach ache, opening-up, trip down memory lane watching old videos, and rethinking my decisions.
i haven't really dissected it to the bone yet,
simply, because i just don't really want to and at the same time i feel like i have so much on my plate, it might not be worth it at this moment to do anything rash.
i mean it would be so much easier to just leave things as it is right now,
and pretend it doesn't bug me at times.
but then again,
i'm not the type of person to just leave things as it is,
it either has an ending or i keep the story going for as long as i live.
"it's a part of life, really." like my good friend Matt always says.

it doesn't matter,
i don't think i should stress over it.
everything will end up right where it's suppose to be in time.
so, for now i just have to sit back and let the chips fall where they may...
that's all i can do anyways.