'Cause it's no better for me
I still cannot breathe
I told myself that I was going to go on a diet today...
And as of right now, I'm still doing a pretty good job.
I woke up about an hour ago and I'm keeping myself busy,
so I haven't eaten yet.
And since a good chunk of my day is already gone,
I think I'll have no problem.
Wish me luck.
Spencer left yesterday.
On Friday was his last going away party for all of us to him,
and I missed it intentionally,
I made other plans with an old friend.
I knew if I went I was going to cry, and I wanted to be stronger than that.
But honestly, I rather of went and cried and spent my time there with him before he left than have the what if's bombarding my mind.
Besides, I had a horrible time spending it with an old friend,
he changed, and the worst part is...
I know that's going to be a lasting impression of him.
But I did spend the last couple of hours with Spence,
I called him when I got home,
and we met up.
We talked, we laughed, we cried as we watched the Los Angeles night view.
I didn't take him to the airport,
I didn't want to say goodbye.
Cause I was scared that it was going to be the last thing I'd ever say to him,
and that just wasn't going to cut it.
After he left,
I felt empty...
Cause pretty soon Kristen and Johnny is going to leave me too,
Florida is there next destination.
Adam's still not back,
Patrick and I drifted apart,
Brad is still a phone call away,
and Spence...He left yesterday.
I was thinking about Seattle this whole weekend,
I have it well mapped out in my mind.
And as soon as I save enough money I'm going to make the reservations for the car rental, hotels, and other important stuff like that so I get a guarantee by mid December.
That is if I end up going alone.
If I end up loving Seattle I might just move there there all together in a year or two.
There's nothing in California that's worth staying for anymore.
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