it's been a while...

After a long time of seeing many things through hazy eyes and an unclear mind,
the storm is finally over.
I still can't write like I use to,
it's like all my inspiration and creativity went right out the window...
But once again,
I think it's just one of those creative droughts.

It's been a while since I've written here,
I've been trying for the last week.
But then something always comes up,
or I feel like I'm just not ready to blog about what just happened,
I needed to let it simmer down.
I guess now is the perfect time,
so brace yourself for a long update.

Let's start with last night,
after watch The Knowing (a ridiculously lousy movie) with the guys
we had a brief conversation about 2012.
I personally don't believe in it at all,
but Chris did point out some fascinating points he watched on the Discovery Channel.
I won't go in depth about that,
cause Specs apparently has a whole blog dedicated to 2012.
So I'll just leave it at that.

Over the course of last week,
I had numerous deep talks with just about all my friends.
It feels good to get to know everyone just a little bit more,
it's comforting to know how much I'm starting to trust again too...

The problems with the guys have finally become secondary,
with Spence leaving and seeing everything differently...
I think I finally got it figured out.
Before, I felt like I ultimately had to pick a path and just run with it,
but now...
I realized I'm better off just going with the flow,
and not expecting anything.
I also realized why I fell head over heels for this crush,
he reminded me of everything Spencer was on the inside...
I've been trying so hard to push the both of them away,
when it's just better to let myself crush and let myself get over Spence that way.
I've been wanting so badly to tell my crush how I've felt but the risk of hurting our friendship frightens me,
besides I like him better as a friend than anything else.
He's got his own issues to deal with and I still have mine too,
so for now I'm just going to be his friend, help him through his troubles as much as I can, and slowly move on.

Oh,
and this year I'm missing out on Warped Tour again because of Vegas.
Just like 04' there's a pretty good line-up for 09' but what can you do?
At least in Vegas I get to forget for a couple of days...