let me take you somewhere I can't explain.

I didn't think I was going to start off the New Year like this,
I mean, I knew it was going to be uneventful...

I needed it to be just another day,
because I knew if I gave myself the chance to sugar coat it and go out and party...
I'd never change and end up stuck in a repetition of failure.

So I preoccupied myself mostly with family,
and kept myself a great distance from friends.
(which is starting to be something I do quite often for some strange reason)

But knowing my family,
nothing is ever pleasant,
especially during a holiday,
somehow my mom always has a nag to go ballistic and everyone ends up unhappy.
It's quite annoying,
And people wonder why I'm not a holiday kind of a person.

Kristen gave me quite a scare when Johnny called telling me she got into a car accident,
I went into a small mental break down and I'm still trying to recover from it.
The fact of the matter is,
I really can't take another person so near and dear to me to leave me again,
I don't know if I'm strong enough to take it...
Luckily, she's fine just some scratches and bruises,
nothing major.

At times like these,
I really wished that my best friend or someone I could rely on was there to lend me a shoulder to rest my head on.
despite all the shit that he's put me through,
and how I believe that people will never change completely.
(because from experience, I know I still get extremely pessismistic at times...)

No matter how pure you are,
there is still evil in you,
it's just human nature,
and I forgive you.
I just want you to know that.
I forgive you.