It's been a minute and I just want to remind you not to slack off.
If you want to make it,
if you want to get out of here...
Work really hard.
You can do it.
Believe it.

I've been feeling really depressed lately,
and I just can't seem to put my finger on it.
I want to be cured.

For the first time in a long time,
I wanted to give up.
I wanted to throw myself into the ocean and never come back again.
I feel like shit.

I want to be cured.

it's that time again!

Well, Happy New Year my lovely online journal,
can you believe it?
It's already 2011.

Big things are going to happen this year,
I can feel it in my bones.
I just wish that these big things will lead me into the right direction,
but for now,
I am still a college student trying her best to make it in life.

To be honest,
things have already changed.
I've severed my ties with a few people actually.

ONE being my best friend,
I don't even know if we could've ever really called each other best friends,
with how things ended,
the term best friends just seems so damn inappropriate.
She didn't even try.
That part hurts and amuses me the most.

TWO CASEY,
He's just another guy in the past.
Nothing more, not less.
He gave me some of the best moments in 2010,
but none of that masks the fact,
that he too,
just didn't think our relationship was worth trying.
That's a good enough reason for me to walk away.

THREE my boys
nothing hurt as much as this.
walking away from my boys,
because of my selfish endeavors to grow the fuck up and leave the nest.
They tell me that they understand,
they tell me that they support me fully.
Honestly though, when each one of them hugged me,
it felt like a final goodbye.
I just want them to know,
it's not a goodbye.
It's more of a see you later alligator...

2010 was all about losing,
and gaining a thicker skin for 2011.
I think I've lost enough,
it's time to be happy.